She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
