i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
