Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
