upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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