so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
