Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I wish my penis had an off switch
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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