I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
