Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Randomize
