i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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