At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
