id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
