For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
