i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
