Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
