My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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