Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize