I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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