I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
