what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
so let's talk penis.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
