a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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