i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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