the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
