yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Well I just put wine in my tea
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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