i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
