thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Randomize
