I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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