she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
These tits shall not be calmed
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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