I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
