he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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