think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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