her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
