Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
