I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
