do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
wow bdsm is so cute
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
