Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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