I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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