Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
