you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize