And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Randomize
