Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Every concussion has its silver lining
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize