Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
