She announced her abortion via fbk
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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