I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
