Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
