Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i jhust puked up my retainher.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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