I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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