Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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