Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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