i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
