Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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