trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize