Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
