woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
