ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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