we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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