that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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