You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
There r osticjed everywhere
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
