the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Randomize
