I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
These tits shall not be calmed
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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