how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
