he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
