Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Is it because I queefed?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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